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A manual back from the future, albeit a little late, that will help you survive smart people, genres of genre writing, rhetoric, excessive people watching, socializing and razor sharp lines between fiction and non-fiction.

 

Disclaimer – Not an easy read. Will be featured in some session in 2016.

 

A weekend of writers, thinkers, poets, journalists, people you want to avoid in a city like ours is known to be fatal. The empirical evidence of the preceding statement can be quantified by the death of the writer who chalked out this manual. May she rest in piece. Her last will however was the publication of this manual. The following are excerpts from a 1500 page long rant that is helpful in parts and the rest read like journalentries of a war veteran. Not pleasant.

 

Bare essentials:

1.     Dark, oversized Kenneth Cole shades. For those who are too rich for brands, hipsters that is, aviators –  In both cases, the darker and bigger the better. These are your first form of protection. The protect you from noticing people even if you have noticed them, you can roll your eyes as much as youwant and they give you the chance to catch on your sleep. Most importantly when your brain cells are reduced to an amount that will glaze your eyes, no one will know how stupid you are. In an arena filled with extremely intelligent people, being stupid can get you killed.

 

2.     Pain killers/ Anti depressants/ Morphine – For the long, insufferable hours you will spend listening, talking, perfecting the half interested look, hugging people and walking around, away or to. Everything will hurt, you will question your existence and eventually you will want to be numbed to the world.

 

 

3.     A notebook – to doodle in while you appear to look busy and important.

 

4.     Bridget Jones’ diary – to soothe your smart nerves.

 

5.     The jacket – This piece of clothing is only sold to those who know that magic word – ‘Please No’. uttered in the right intonation, a combination of desperation and panic, you will be provided with this at the entrance for Rs.10000. It lasts exactly three days and does the following;

A – is just the right kind of fashion statement

B – is bullet proof

C – body odor proof

D – camera friendly

E – anybody whose a nobody proof

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